Are you an emotional person?
Or know anyone around you who is emotional?
Ever wondered how to control the emotions?
Constantly feel like being burdened with the emotions of the self and others?
Keep saying to the self ‘how good it would be if I wasn’t an emotional person”?
Feel like being taken for granted as you are too emotional?
Are emotions the weaknesses for you?
The inability to regulate emotions is, according to Gross and his collaborator Hooria Jazaieri (2014), at the root of psychological disorders such as depression and borderline personality disorder. Even more, there is much needed research to be conducted to understand the specific role of regulating the emotions in psychopathology. Today, the trouble is to balance the emotions in relationships as emotions have gone beyond the control of the conscious mind. This is a result of lack of ‘Self-concept’.
Following are the steps that can be followed to manage the emotions:
1. PAUSE AND REACT
At any given moment of time, pause before you react. Give a second thought to your own thoughts and words to make sure that the response is correct. Be attentive when you communicate.
2. REJECT… DISTRACT… ATTRACT
Reject the unwanted thoughts… distract the mind… attract the wanted thoughts
One must learn to reject the negative thought patterns. It is important to become wise on the kinds of thoughts that need be entertained. After understanding the thoughts that needs to be discarded, distract your mind or flip from negative to positive or from pessimistic to optimistic. Now, attract the thoughts that will lead to your growth. The thoughts that will get you near to the purpose of your life.
3. PRACTICAL MIND
Life with a balance of head and heart is a good way to live life. A practical mind understands that neither everything needs an emotional reaction nor everything needs to be analysed logically.
4. EXPRESS
Express all kinds of emotions. May it be negative/positive or healthy/unhealthy with harm to none. Harm to none is a mandate. Try to have a healthy discussion about it and express it out personally, if not, express it to the self to move on. The ways that can be used to express it to the self is either write it down or speak it out to the self. The expression with negative vibe can be destroyed by burning down the piece of paper or flushing it down. Go out in open and speak it out to release it from your system.
5. ACCEPTANCE WITHOUT ATTACHMENT
Accept people the way they are. Accept emotions in the exact way they are felt. The catch is acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean attachment. One can accept everything but still not be attached to it. The emotions people display have a lot to do with them and their struggle. When one reacts to other’s emotions, there is a literal acceptance and little attachment to it. Learn the unconditional acceptance with detachment.
6. TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Just close your eyes
Take a deep breath from your nose
Feel as if fresh, positive, and good energies are taken in
Release from your mouth with full force
Feel as if old, stagnant, negative, and bad energies are being thrown out
Clearing the head
Balance is created
Now you are ready to have a sane interaction with all kinds of emotions.
If trying all of the above still gives you a hard time managing the emotions consult a therapist. The therapist will help you become aware of the core issues and assist you devise strategies to create a healthy life.
By
Drashty Patel
HR & MSW